Helping your loved ones out of Depression

What can friends or relatives do to help? The very nature of depression, which brings a sense of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness, can prevent someone who's depressed from seeking help. They often withdraw from friends and relatives around them, rather than asking for help or support. However, this is a time when they need your help and support most.

Encourage to speak - Perhaps the most important thing that you can do is to encourage your friend or relative to seek appropriate treatment.

Don't criticise - Try not to blame them for being depressed, or tell them to "pull themselves together". They are probably already blaming themselves, and criticism is likely to make them feel even more depressed. Praise is much more effective than criticism.

Reassure - You can reassure them that it is possible to do something to improve their situation, but you need to do so in a caring and sympathetic way. People who are depressed need someone who cares for them.

Listen to them - You can show that you care by listening, sympathetically, by being affectionate, by appreciating the person, or simply by spending time with them. You can help by encouraging them to talk about how they are feeling and getting them to work out what they can do, or what they need to change, in order to deal with their depression.

If the person you are supporting is severely depressed, you may be faced with some hard decisions about how much to do on their behalf. If, for example, they are not looking after their physical needs, should you take over and do the shopping, cooking and cleaning for them, if you are able to? Or should you try and encourage them to do it? There are no easy answers to this situation. It will help if you can find someone with whom you can discuss these and other issues.

Supporting a friend or relative who is depressed can be an opportunity to build a closer and more satisfying relationship. However, it can also be hard work and frustrating, at times. Unless you pay attention to your own needs, it can make you feel depressed, too. Try and share the responsibility with as many people as possible, and find people to whom you can express your frustrations.